1 00:00:10,879 --> 00:00:11,819 Good morning. 2 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:14,060 WOMAN: Good morning. Hey. 3 00:00:14,162 --> 00:00:16,102 All right, everybody, listen up. 4 00:00:16,204 --> 00:00:19,914 As of about... one minute ago, 5 00:00:20,008 --> 00:00:23,308 the sanitation workers union rejected our final offer. 6 00:00:23,412 --> 00:00:25,112 They are now officially on strike. 7 00:00:25,213 --> 00:00:26,963 It's happening? 8 00:00:27,055 --> 00:00:28,875 So let's... let's start looking into alternative dumpsites, all right? 9 00:00:28,977 --> 00:00:30,997 Vacant lots, barges... 10 00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:33,099 New Jersey. 11 00:00:33,702 --> 00:00:35,122 This strike could drag on for days, weeks. 12 00:00:35,223 --> 00:00:36,773 Maybe even months. 13 00:00:36,865 --> 00:00:39,365 Mike, I need something to tell the press. They're killing me. 14 00:00:39,468 --> 00:00:41,888 The strike's over, Paul, finished. 15 00:00:41,990 --> 00:00:43,990 Really? Oh, yeah. 16 00:00:46,555 --> 00:00:48,495 (EVERYONE SPEAKS AT ONCE) 17 00:00:48,597 --> 00:00:50,537 You're not lying to me, are you? 18 00:00:50,639 --> 00:00:53,679 I would be disappointed if this whole thing wasn't settled by this afternoon. 19 00:00:55,003 --> 00:00:57,013 God, I love this job. 20 00:00:58,607 --> 00:01:00,987 Okay, that's only going to buy us a couple hours, 21 00:01:01,089 --> 00:01:02,989 But I'm not debating this thing in the press. 22 00:01:03,091 --> 00:01:04,391 It's only going to hurt negotiations. 23 00:01:04,492 --> 00:01:05,632 Now, you all know the rules. 24 00:01:05,734 --> 00:01:07,924 Anybody who tells Paul the truth, 25 00:01:08,016 --> 00:01:10,016 puts ten bucks in the kitty. 26 00:01:11,299 --> 00:01:12,719 It's going to be a long day, people. 27 00:01:12,821 --> 00:01:14,641 We got garbage in the streets. 28 00:01:14,743 --> 00:01:17,573 We got a weather report calling for temperatures in the mid-90s with no breeze. 29 00:01:17,666 --> 00:01:21,366 By 11 o'clock, the city's going to smell like a giant foot. 30 00:01:21,469 --> 00:01:23,729 People are going to be hurling themselves into the East River, 31 00:01:23,832 --> 00:01:27,002 and we all know who everybody's going to blame, don't we? 32 00:01:27,836 --> 00:01:30,056 Good morning, everyone! 33 00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:31,498 Hey, Flaherty, how's our city? 34 00:01:31,599 --> 00:01:32,739 Oh, couldn't be better, sir. 35 00:01:32,841 --> 00:01:34,701 That's what I like to hear. 36 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,373 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 37 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,557 The Mayor is not happy. 38 00:01:50,658 --> 00:01:51,838 Sorry to hear about that. How you doing? 39 00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:53,320 I'm okay. Let me see my own schedule. 40 00:01:53,421 --> 00:01:55,041 Why? You're not going to have time for any of it. 41 00:01:55,143 --> 00:01:57,933 No. No. No. No. No. No. 42 00:01:58,026 --> 00:02:00,086 You gave me six nos. There's only five things on the list. 43 00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:01,168 That last no, that's for you. 44 00:02:01,269 --> 00:02:03,269 You can use that however you want. 45 00:02:03,711 --> 00:02:05,011 Karen. Yes, Mr. Flaherty? 46 00:02:05,113 --> 00:02:07,503 I need you to get a Mr. Sabatino on the phone. 47 00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:09,175 He's the head of the sanitation workers union... 48 00:02:09,277 --> 00:02:11,297 Mmm-hmm. ...and he doesn't want to talk to us, 49 00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:14,539 so you're gonna have to do me a favor, okay? 50 00:02:14,642 --> 00:02:19,832 You know how, no matter what happens, You're always so cheerful, 51 00:02:19,927 --> 00:02:21,967 it just makes us all want to stab you through the heart? 52 00:02:23,171 --> 00:02:25,111 Uh-huh. 53 00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:26,833 That's not going to work on Mr. Sabatino, 54 00:02:26,934 --> 00:02:29,004 so you got to do me a favor, all right? 55 00:02:29,097 --> 00:02:32,037 You got to intimidate this guy, all right? 56 00:02:32,140 --> 00:02:34,280 Tap into your darker side, 57 00:02:34,382 --> 00:02:36,282 that angry corner of your soul 58 00:02:36,384 --> 00:02:38,294 where violence reigns 59 00:02:38,386 --> 00:02:40,526 and terror cracks the whip. 60 00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,628 Okey-dokey. 61 00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:47,112 It was just a run-of-the-mill orgasm. I didn't mean to scare you. 62 00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:51,036 Could you hold a second, Mom? 63 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,460 I worked up some new numbers for you, Mike. 64 00:02:54,562 --> 00:02:55,542 Talk to me, Nikki. 65 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,113 We're not there yet. 66 00:02:57,205 --> 00:02:58,325 I mean, forget the health insurance and the pension plans. 67 00:02:58,406 --> 00:02:59,626 We can't even come close to 68 00:02:59,727 --> 00:03:02,307 what these sanitation workers are asking for. 69 00:03:02,410 --> 00:03:04,070 Give it another pass. All right, 70 00:03:04,171 --> 00:03:06,171 but I wouldn't be optimistic. 71 00:03:08,296 --> 00:03:10,496 Oh, I'll... I'll let you get back to your mom. 72 00:03:11,579 --> 00:03:13,579 Before she loses her erection. 73 00:03:15,983 --> 00:03:18,573 (IMPERCEPTIBLE) 74 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:21,006 So, yes, we do hope that New Yorkers will continue 75 00:03:21,108 --> 00:03:25,328 to bag and dispose of their garbage in the usual manner. 76 00:03:25,433 --> 00:03:26,453 Any other questions? 77 00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:29,184 Anybody have any questions? 78 00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:31,956 Any questions at all? Anybody? Anybody? 79 00:03:33,401 --> 00:03:34,541 Yes, Ashley? 80 00:03:34,642 --> 00:03:36,222 So, am I to understand that you actually believe 81 00:03:36,323 --> 00:03:38,533 that garbage pickup will resume tomorrow morning? Yes. 82 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,707 Yes. 83 00:03:41,809 --> 00:03:43,809 With all my heart. 84 00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,313 That's interesting, because I spoke to Mr. Sabatino 85 00:03:47,414 --> 00:03:49,044 about 15 minutes ago, 86 00:03:49,136 --> 00:03:51,916 and... and I asked him how long he thought the strike might last, 87 00:03:52,019 --> 00:03:53,879 and he said, and I quote, 88 00:03:53,981 --> 00:03:55,981 "How long you got?" 89 00:04:03,190 --> 00:04:05,190 It's not good. No. 90 00:04:06,073 --> 00:04:07,543 Why are you beating up on Paul? 91 00:04:07,635 --> 00:04:09,255 Guy's just doing his job. 92 00:04:09,356 --> 00:04:10,536 I don't blame Paul. 93 00:04:10,638 --> 00:04:12,638 I know who has his hand inside the puppet. 94 00:04:13,961 --> 00:04:16,701 Why, thank you. That's a lovely image. 95 00:04:16,804 --> 00:04:18,074 Got any more questions? 96 00:04:18,165 --> 00:04:19,665 Yeah, I mean, what do you hope to gain by this? 97 00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:22,027 It's a strike. It's not like people aren't going to notice. 98 00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,949 Why can't you just say no progress has been made? 99 00:04:25,052 --> 00:04:26,072 'Cause the second I do that, 100 00:04:26,173 --> 00:04:28,243 you'd make it out to be the Mayor's fault. 101 00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:29,795 Oh, so it's not the Mayor's fault? 102 00:04:29,897 --> 00:04:31,277 I'll just write the story, uh, 103 00:04:31,378 --> 00:04:34,318 "Garbage unreasonable, refuses to be taken away." 104 00:04:34,421 --> 00:04:36,881 Why do you people always focus on the negative? 105 00:04:36,984 --> 00:04:38,414 Mike, the city of New York generates more garbage 106 00:04:38,505 --> 00:04:40,685 than any other city in the world. 107 00:04:40,788 --> 00:04:43,088 We're number one. 108 00:04:43,190 --> 00:04:46,170 That's great. When we came in, we were number three. 109 00:04:46,273 --> 00:04:48,703 Whatever. You're the one who has to sleep at night. 110 00:04:48,795 --> 00:04:50,175 That's right. 111 00:04:50,277 --> 00:04:51,897 Okay, then. Okay. 112 00:04:51,999 --> 00:04:53,499 See you tonight? My place? 113 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,600 No problem. 114 00:04:57,444 --> 00:04:59,274 All right, the Mayor prepared to speak about the strike, James? 115 00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:00,386 I worked on it all night, Mike. 116 00:05:00,487 --> 00:05:02,867 I have six pages of spontaneous remarks. 117 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,150 You know, Mike, if I were deputy mayor, 118 00:05:05,252 --> 00:05:07,112 there never would have been a garbage strike. 119 00:05:07,214 --> 00:05:08,644 Stuart, I'm sure there are 100 reasons 120 00:05:08,735 --> 00:05:10,235 why you think you deserve my job. 121 00:05:10,337 --> 00:05:12,517 Oh, good! You read my manifesto. 122 00:05:12,619 --> 00:05:14,919 (OVER TV) REPORTERS: Sir? Mr. Mayor? 123 00:05:15,022 --> 00:05:16,402 REPORTER: Any comments on the strike, sir? 124 00:05:16,503 --> 00:05:18,133 "I don't think we need to be overly concerned." 125 00:05:18,225 --> 00:05:20,485 MAYOR: I don't think we need to be overly concerned. 126 00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:21,927 "We all want this settled quickly." 127 00:05:22,029 --> 00:05:24,289 We all want this settled quickly. Besides... 128 00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:25,851 Eighty-eight percent. 129 00:05:25,952 --> 00:05:27,652 Good God, Eighty-eight percent! Eighty-eight percent of... 130 00:05:27,754 --> 00:05:29,264 ...88% of all major 131 00:05:29,356 --> 00:05:32,136 union strikes end in less than 48 hours, 132 00:05:32,239 --> 00:05:34,619 so this shouldn't drag on. Thank you. 133 00:05:34,721 --> 00:05:36,181 And there's your sound bite. 134 00:05:36,283 --> 00:05:38,673 All right. We're golden. 135 00:05:38,765 --> 00:05:40,165 REPORTER: (OVER TV) Mr. Mayor, would you consider marching 136 00:05:40,247 --> 00:05:41,507 in the gay pride parade this week? 137 00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,608 What are you, drunk? 138 00:05:59,706 --> 00:06:01,706 What was that? 139 00:06:02,509 --> 00:06:03,929 I didn't write that, Mike. 140 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,390 Oh, great. There go all our free show tickets. 141 00:06:08,475 --> 00:06:11,635 All right. It's out there. He said it. Now what? 142 00:06:12,479 --> 00:06:13,459 I tell you, if we have 143 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:14,580 one gay person on the staff, 144 00:06:14,681 --> 00:06:16,681 this whole thing goes away. 145 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,054 Everybody stop. 146 00:06:25,291 --> 00:06:27,291 I need a gay person. 147 00:06:28,775 --> 00:06:29,995 Huh? 148 00:06:30,096 --> 00:06:32,736 Who in this room is gay? 149 00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:38,262 Not that kind of gay. 150 00:06:41,147 --> 00:06:42,287 Oh, come on. 151 00:06:42,388 --> 00:06:44,708 You telling me nobody is even leaning that way? 152 00:06:45,552 --> 00:06:47,552 Do threesomes count? 153 00:06:50,637 --> 00:06:52,637 Nobody even had a gay fling? 154 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,760 Nobody here went to camp? 155 00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:05,489 James? 156 00:07:06,813 --> 00:07:08,153 Why are you asking me? 157 00:07:08,254 --> 00:07:09,884 All righty, people. 158 00:07:09,976 --> 00:07:12,716 I assume you all get television. 159 00:07:12,819 --> 00:07:14,879 I'd like to get a jump-start on our new problem. 160 00:07:14,981 --> 00:07:17,241 All right, Paul, we're in great shape. We are? 161 00:07:17,343 --> 00:07:19,253 Oh, sure. We're an open administration. 162 00:07:19,345 --> 00:07:21,365 We even have prominent gay personnel 163 00:07:21,467 --> 00:07:22,447 on our staff. 164 00:07:22,548 --> 00:07:24,548 We do? Who? 165 00:07:25,391 --> 00:07:27,391 James. 166 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:30,915 Oh, yeah. 167 00:07:38,164 --> 00:07:40,394 (TELEVISION PLAYING INDISTINCTLY) 168 00:07:40,486 --> 00:07:42,486 Eleven o'clock. 169 00:07:42,849 --> 00:07:44,069 Workday is over. 170 00:07:44,170 --> 00:07:45,630 Well, you're not listening to me. 171 00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:47,731 That's not the Mayor's position. 172 00:07:49,295 --> 00:07:51,295 I got to go. 173 00:07:52,418 --> 00:07:53,798 What do you want to do? 174 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:55,900 Oh, I don't know. 175 00:08:02,508 --> 00:08:04,208 What do you want to do? 176 00:08:04,310 --> 00:08:05,650 We could rent a movie. 177 00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:07,171 Nah. I don't want to. 178 00:08:07,273 --> 00:08:08,863 We could read. 179 00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:11,015 No. 180 00:08:11,117 --> 00:08:12,337 We could play Boggle. 181 00:08:12,438 --> 00:08:15,318 That's it. I want to play Boggle. 182 00:08:16,042 --> 00:08:17,142 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 183 00:08:17,243 --> 00:08:19,033 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 184 00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:20,465 (OVER SPEAKER) Hey, Mike, this is Paul. 185 00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:23,226 Listen, we're really getting beat up on this parade thing. 186 00:08:23,329 --> 00:08:25,749 It might be a good idea maybe to have James in there in the morning, 187 00:08:25,851 --> 00:08:26,851 answer some questions. All right. 188 00:08:26,932 --> 00:08:28,962 Get back to me. I'll see you. 189 00:08:29,055 --> 00:08:31,675 Have James there to answer questions about what? 190 00:08:31,777 --> 00:08:33,277 Off the record? 191 00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:35,839 What it's like to be a gay man in the Mayor's office. 192 00:08:35,941 --> 00:08:37,681 Since when is James gay? 193 00:08:37,783 --> 00:08:39,793 Since about 5:15. 194 00:08:41,467 --> 00:08:42,487 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 195 00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:43,848 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 196 00:08:43,949 --> 00:08:45,209 (OVER SPEAKER) Mike, it's Stuart. 197 00:08:45,311 --> 00:08:46,971 Sabatino turned our offer down. 198 00:08:47,072 --> 00:08:48,572 I've rounded everybody up. 199 00:08:48,674 --> 00:08:50,804 We're on our way over. Be there in three minutes. 200 00:08:52,678 --> 00:08:54,338 Can we do it? 201 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,440 Well, I could. 202 00:08:58,324 --> 00:08:59,834 (GRUNTS) 203 00:08:59,925 --> 00:09:03,265 I hate to say this, but this could turn into an all-nighter. 204 00:09:03,369 --> 00:09:04,989 Oh, great. That's just what I need. 205 00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:07,710 You know, I got a big day tomorrow. I got to be up at 6:00. 206 00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:10,483 Maybe you should just crash at your place tonight. 207 00:09:10,576 --> 00:09:11,716 No. I can't. 208 00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:13,037 Why not? 209 00:09:13,138 --> 00:09:15,118 I don't have one. 210 00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:16,560 What? 211 00:09:16,662 --> 00:09:18,042 My lease, it ran out a few weeks ago, 212 00:09:18,143 --> 00:09:20,313 and I didn't bother renewing it. 213 00:09:20,946 --> 00:09:22,946 Oh. So, then, uh... 214 00:09:24,390 --> 00:09:26,390 ...we live together. 215 00:09:28,514 --> 00:09:30,884 Well, yeah, I guess. 216 00:09:31,757 --> 00:09:33,757 I feel I should have been told. 217 00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:37,181 We already live together. 218 00:09:37,282 --> 00:09:38,742 I mean, it's not like I snuck into your apartment. 219 00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:41,054 I've been sleeping here every night for a year and a half. 220 00:09:41,727 --> 00:09:43,727 As a guest. 221 00:09:44,129 --> 00:09:46,109 Oh, as a guest? Really? 222 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,211 Look at that picture over there, Mike. 223 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,215 Oh, my God. 224 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,218 Those aren't my parents. 225 00:09:58,704 --> 00:09:59,694 They're my parents. 226 00:09:59,785 --> 00:10:01,785 Who did you think they were? 227 00:10:02,307 --> 00:10:04,307 I thought they came with the frame. 228 00:10:06,351 --> 00:10:08,371 That's my dresser, too. 229 00:10:08,473 --> 00:10:10,383 All right. okay. Well, listen, honey, 230 00:10:10,475 --> 00:10:12,695 a photo and a dresser doesn't... 231 00:10:12,798 --> 00:10:14,798 Couch. 232 00:10:15,761 --> 00:10:17,901 Coffee table. Television. 233 00:10:18,003 --> 00:10:19,593 Okay. 234 00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:21,685 The dog. 235 00:10:24,609 --> 00:10:26,609 Not Rex. 236 00:10:28,974 --> 00:10:30,084 You do live here. 237 00:10:30,175 --> 00:10:32,175 Uh-huh. 238 00:10:33,658 --> 00:10:35,658 Where do I live? 239 00:10:37,342 --> 00:10:39,852 I... I can't believe this is such a big deal to you. 240 00:10:39,945 --> 00:10:41,645 I mean, we eat together. We sleep together. 241 00:10:41,746 --> 00:10:43,606 We vacation together. 242 00:10:43,708 --> 00:10:44,728 Mike, we're each other's 243 00:10:44,830 --> 00:10:47,230 "In case of emergency, please notify" person. 244 00:10:51,997 --> 00:10:53,997 I can't breathe. 245 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,760 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 246 00:10:58,803 --> 00:11:00,813 You might want to notify yourself. 247 00:11:07,652 --> 00:11:09,652 MAYOR: (OVER TV) What are you, drunk? 248 00:11:14,419 --> 00:11:15,919 MAYOR: What's in the journal? 249 00:11:16,021 --> 00:11:18,041 "Sanitation strike cripples city." 250 00:11:18,143 --> 00:11:19,893 What about the news? 251 00:11:19,985 --> 00:11:22,285 "Mayor snubs gay community." (GASPS) 252 00:11:22,387 --> 00:11:24,807 Anything in the Post? 253 00:11:24,909 --> 00:11:27,629 "Family dog drives heart attack victim to hospital..." 254 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:29,453 (SMACKS LIPS) 255 00:11:29,554 --> 00:11:31,564 "...as Mayor snubs gay community." 256 00:11:32,597 --> 00:11:33,657 I love the Post. 257 00:11:33,758 --> 00:11:35,998 Here are your remarks for the dedication, sir. 258 00:11:37,202 --> 00:11:38,382 "Proud to be here. 259 00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:40,233 "Proud of a community on the rise." 260 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,265 Mmm-hmm. 261 00:11:41,366 --> 00:11:42,466 Basically, you're just... 262 00:11:42,567 --> 00:11:43,867 you're very... 263 00:11:43,968 --> 00:11:45,968 very proud. 264 00:11:46,931 --> 00:11:48,271 You look terrible, Flaherty. 265 00:11:48,373 --> 00:11:50,523 We were up all night working on this thing. 266 00:11:50,615 --> 00:11:52,615 Mmm. Ashley... 267 00:11:53,097 --> 00:11:54,077 Forget I said that, okay? 268 00:11:54,179 --> 00:11:55,919 I don't want to bother you. 269 00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:58,780 No bother. Romantic problems are, uh... 270 00:11:59,624 --> 00:12:01,634 right up my alley. 271 00:12:02,627 --> 00:12:05,187 I did a little bird-dogging in my day. 272 00:12:07,672 --> 00:12:08,892 Let's hear it. 273 00:12:08,993 --> 00:12:11,023 All right, uh... well, the thing is, Ashley feels... 274 00:12:11,115 --> 00:12:13,115 You know what you do? 275 00:12:14,238 --> 00:12:16,338 Send her to a spa. 276 00:12:16,441 --> 00:12:19,681 All is forgiven in the 100-degree mud. 277 00:12:22,006 --> 00:12:24,306 Or if that doesn't work, you name a street after her... 278 00:12:24,409 --> 00:12:26,409 or a park. 279 00:12:26,811 --> 00:12:28,811 They love parks. 280 00:12:29,814 --> 00:12:31,824 Those are three... 281 00:12:33,097 --> 00:12:35,217 ...really good suggestions, sir. 282 00:12:41,986 --> 00:12:43,686 Hey. 283 00:12:43,788 --> 00:12:45,848 Hey. 284 00:12:45,950 --> 00:12:47,290 You've been avoiding me all morning. 285 00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:50,501 I think we need to talk. Don't you? 286 00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:52,695 I think that everything that needed to be said was said. 287 00:12:52,797 --> 00:12:54,577 I don't know about that. 288 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:57,419 You dropped a bomb on me last night. 289 00:12:57,521 --> 00:12:58,861 I got a feeling you didn't get the reaction 290 00:12:58,963 --> 00:13:00,183 you were looking for. 291 00:13:00,284 --> 00:13:01,834 No, not at all. I find hysterical paralysis 292 00:13:01,926 --> 00:13:03,926 very reassuring. 293 00:13:05,289 --> 00:13:07,289 I just don't see what the big problem is. 294 00:13:08,693 --> 00:13:10,923 All we have to do is get your old place back. 295 00:13:11,015 --> 00:13:14,115 Mike, will you tell me why my apartment is so important to you? 296 00:13:14,218 --> 00:13:16,218 Us. Important to us. 297 00:13:18,622 --> 00:13:20,202 It's our safety net. 298 00:13:20,304 --> 00:13:23,294 It's a $900-a-month empty room that allows you to delude yourself 299 00:13:23,387 --> 00:13:25,287 into thinking that you haven't made a commitment. 300 00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:28,509 Well... if it does all that... 301 00:13:30,674 --> 00:13:32,684 ...and it's only 900 bucks... 302 00:13:33,838 --> 00:13:34,818 (SIGHS) 303 00:13:34,919 --> 00:13:36,899 All right. All right, look. 304 00:13:37,001 --> 00:13:40,621 You said commitment, and, uh... 305 00:13:40,724 --> 00:13:43,274 and I got a little crazy, okay? 306 00:13:43,367 --> 00:13:46,267 I admit that, but I know what you're saying, 307 00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:48,470 and you're right, 308 00:13:48,572 --> 00:13:50,152 so let's go ahead. 309 00:13:50,254 --> 00:13:52,264 Let's do it. 310 00:13:53,057 --> 00:13:55,057 We live together. 311 00:13:59,023 --> 00:14:00,243 Just like that. 312 00:14:00,344 --> 00:14:02,354 Yeah. 313 00:14:05,109 --> 00:14:07,109 Isn't it great? 314 00:14:09,873 --> 00:14:11,543 I don't think so, Mike. (SIGHS) 315 00:14:11,635 --> 00:14:13,055 Now I'm really confused. 316 00:14:13,157 --> 00:14:14,457 Well, I'm confused, too. 317 00:14:14,558 --> 00:14:15,658 I mean, this is hard. You know? 318 00:14:15,759 --> 00:14:18,039 I think we should just take some time off. 319 00:14:20,364 --> 00:14:22,374 Would you like to go to a spa? 320 00:14:24,728 --> 00:14:25,748 Look, I'm sure with work, 321 00:14:25,849 --> 00:14:27,069 we'll see each other all the time. 322 00:14:27,171 --> 00:14:28,991 You know, I think we should just, 323 00:14:29,093 --> 00:14:31,563 keep the rest of our relationship platonic for a while. 324 00:14:31,655 --> 00:14:32,835 Oh, I see. Okay. 325 00:14:32,936 --> 00:14:36,276 Just keep exactly what we have now. 326 00:14:36,380 --> 00:14:37,720 Just... 327 00:14:37,821 --> 00:14:39,821 without the sex. 328 00:14:41,425 --> 00:14:43,425 I'm gonna have to vote no on that. 329 00:14:45,829 --> 00:14:48,809 You know what? I really care about you, Michael. I do. 330 00:14:48,912 --> 00:14:51,542 I love you, but... I ask for an honest reaction, 331 00:14:51,635 --> 00:14:53,255 you know, and all I get is a joke. 332 00:14:53,357 --> 00:14:54,457 I love you, too, honey. 333 00:14:54,558 --> 00:14:56,458 We're just different. That's all, 334 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,940 but, you know, hey, hey, different is good. 335 00:14:59,042 --> 00:15:01,512 You know, that's why it's great that we're together, 336 00:15:01,605 --> 00:15:04,945 because I think we need people like you 337 00:15:05,048 --> 00:15:07,268 to keep people like me in check, 338 00:15:07,371 --> 00:15:10,071 and I think that we need people like me 339 00:15:10,173 --> 00:15:12,303 to keep people like you from overthinking things. 340 00:15:14,137 --> 00:15:16,137 And I think that... that people... 341 00:15:19,383 --> 00:15:21,393 ...who need people... 342 00:15:24,788 --> 00:15:26,788 ...the luckiest people in the world. 343 00:15:30,794 --> 00:15:32,884 See, we're different. I would have laughed at that. 344 00:15:34,037 --> 00:15:35,817 Michael, as per your request, 345 00:15:35,919 --> 00:15:39,179 I have scheduled a press conference this afternoon at 5 o'clock 346 00:15:39,282 --> 00:15:41,352 to introduce a key member of our staff, 347 00:15:41,445 --> 00:15:44,185 who also happens to be homosexual, 348 00:15:44,287 --> 00:15:45,987 but guess what, Mike? 349 00:15:46,089 --> 00:15:48,869 James here says that he's not gay. 350 00:15:48,972 --> 00:15:50,432 Ten bucks in the kitty, James. 351 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,164 I can't take this anymore, Mike. 352 00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:53,395 I can't take it. 353 00:15:53,496 --> 00:15:55,556 I don't know what's real and what's not. 354 00:15:55,659 --> 00:15:58,039 I don't know day from night, good from evil. 355 00:15:58,141 --> 00:16:00,141 I'm lost. I'm lost. I'm lost. 356 00:16:02,065 --> 00:16:03,445 Don't melt down on me, Paul. 357 00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:06,406 Not today, okay? I need you. 358 00:16:06,509 --> 00:16:08,509 This is a very emotional time. 359 00:16:09,713 --> 00:16:12,483 James being gay surprised all of us. 360 00:16:13,957 --> 00:16:15,957 Especially James. 361 00:16:16,279 --> 00:16:17,579 Come on, Paulie. For me? 362 00:16:17,681 --> 00:16:19,681 All right, all right, all right. 363 00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:22,554 All right, look. If we're going to go through 364 00:16:22,645 --> 00:16:24,865 with your charade of a press conference, 365 00:16:24,968 --> 00:16:26,348 we may as well take a couple of minutes, 366 00:16:26,449 --> 00:16:28,189 go over the sort of questions you're going to get asked. 367 00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:30,291 Is it really going to be that big a deal? 368 00:16:31,254 --> 00:16:33,044 I mean, it's not like it's front-page stuff. 369 00:16:33,136 --> 00:16:35,316 Is it? 370 00:16:35,418 --> 00:16:37,738 You might want to call your parents. 371 00:16:43,546 --> 00:16:46,726 Uh, Janelle, I'd like you to get Ashley... Schaeffer 372 00:16:46,830 --> 00:16:48,830 on the phone for me, please. 373 00:16:51,434 --> 00:16:52,984 What? 374 00:16:53,076 --> 00:16:56,356 This is getting ridiculous. You've tried 23 times. 375 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,220 I don't care. 376 00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:01,322 I don't feel like an idiot. 377 00:17:03,486 --> 00:17:05,486 You're not the one making the calls. 378 00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,670 Hey, Mike. Mike, get over here. 379 00:17:09,772 --> 00:17:11,272 This guy's killing us. 380 00:17:11,374 --> 00:17:14,604 No. This wasn't just a slight to the gay community. 381 00:17:14,697 --> 00:17:16,437 We consider it to be symptomatic 382 00:17:16,539 --> 00:17:19,199 of a hostile and repressive administration. 383 00:17:19,302 --> 00:17:22,092 And until we see significant changes, 384 00:17:22,185 --> 00:17:24,765 we are going to harass and haunt the Mayor at every turn. 385 00:17:24,867 --> 00:17:26,807 We are going to make his life miserable 386 00:17:26,909 --> 00:17:28,169 over the next four years 387 00:17:28,271 --> 00:17:29,251 and make sure there aren't 388 00:17:29,352 --> 00:17:31,652 four years after that. 389 00:17:31,754 --> 00:17:33,764 Now, what do you people have to say about that? 390 00:17:34,197 --> 00:17:36,057 What can I say? 391 00:17:36,159 --> 00:17:38,799 You're hired! I love this guy. Get him a desk. 392 00:17:39,322 --> 00:17:40,462 Mike, Mike... 393 00:17:40,563 --> 00:17:42,573 Uh, listen. 394 00:17:43,045 --> 00:17:45,045 You know I'd do anything for you. 395 00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:46,828 I would. 396 00:17:46,929 --> 00:17:49,489 And so when you asked me to be gay for you... 397 00:17:51,934 --> 00:17:54,764 ...I gave it a lot of thought, and, uh... 398 00:17:54,857 --> 00:17:57,837 Let me say first off how honored I am that you chose me. 399 00:17:57,940 --> 00:18:01,080 James, James... relax, okay? 400 00:18:01,183 --> 00:18:03,193 You're not gay anymore. 401 00:18:05,708 --> 00:18:07,608 "Hostile and repressive." 402 00:18:07,710 --> 00:18:09,410 That's good. That's a good line. 403 00:18:09,512 --> 00:18:12,382 I thought "Backward and medieval" was pretty good, too. 404 00:18:12,475 --> 00:18:15,055 "Morally stunted and Machiavellian." 405 00:18:15,157 --> 00:18:18,297 Look, it's very easy to stand outside throwing rocks. 406 00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:21,421 But please, do not have the unmitigated audacity... 407 00:18:21,524 --> 00:18:23,534 Two very big words... 408 00:18:25,127 --> 00:18:26,987 ...to question what I believe in, okay? 409 00:18:27,089 --> 00:18:28,349 I'm offering you a chance to come in, 410 00:18:28,451 --> 00:18:31,031 sit down at the table, and make policy. 411 00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:33,883 This... this is the opportunity of a lifetime. 412 00:18:33,976 --> 00:18:36,936 If I act now, do I get a free set of steak knives? 413 00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:40,360 The Mayor made a mistake. 414 00:18:40,463 --> 00:18:42,243 I admit that. 415 00:18:42,344 --> 00:18:43,574 But what do you want to do? 416 00:18:43,666 --> 00:18:44,646 Do you want to stay out there 417 00:18:44,747 --> 00:18:46,567 and bitch about a parade, 418 00:18:46,669 --> 00:18:49,229 or do you want to come in and make a difference? 419 00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:52,543 You won't be able to control me. 420 00:18:52,635 --> 00:18:54,635 You know that. 421 00:18:55,517 --> 00:18:56,617 How we doing in here? 422 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:58,219 Mr. Mayor, perfect timing as usual. 423 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,460 I think we're pretty close to making a decision. 424 00:19:00,563 --> 00:19:01,663 Mr. Mayor... Yes. 425 00:19:01,764 --> 00:19:02,754 ...thank you for asking me 426 00:19:02,845 --> 00:19:04,145 to be a part of this administration. 427 00:19:04,246 --> 00:19:05,426 I accept... Oh. 428 00:19:05,527 --> 00:19:06,827 ...and I promise you, as long as you're in office, 429 00:19:06,929 --> 00:19:08,929 I'm going to be your worst nightmare. 430 00:19:09,531 --> 00:19:11,531 Mike, is that good? 431 00:19:13,215 --> 00:19:14,195 It's good. 432 00:19:14,296 --> 00:19:16,296 Splendid! Welcome aboard. 433 00:19:18,701 --> 00:19:20,321 MAN: Good night, good night. WOMAN: Good night. 434 00:19:20,422 --> 00:19:21,962 We're meeting Carter for a beer to celebrate. 435 00:19:22,064 --> 00:19:23,094 You want to join us? 436 00:19:23,185 --> 00:19:25,185 Uh, no, I don't think so. All right. 437 00:19:26,428 --> 00:19:28,428 We're meeting at Houlihan's, right? 438 00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:30,891 Yes. 439 00:19:30,993 --> 00:19:33,503 Really? 'Cause I went there the other night, 440 00:19:33,595 --> 00:19:35,595 and none of you guys showed. 441 00:19:36,198 --> 00:19:38,198 Imagine that. 442 00:19:40,002 --> 00:19:42,522 Can I talk to you for a second? 443 00:19:43,325 --> 00:19:45,325 Yeah. 444 00:19:46,088 --> 00:19:47,708 Talk. 445 00:19:47,809 --> 00:19:49,709 Okay, I thought that part was going to take a lot longer, 446 00:19:49,811 --> 00:19:51,971 so I'm not really prepared... Oh, to hell with it. 447 00:19:54,256 --> 00:19:56,076 Okay, uh... 448 00:19:56,178 --> 00:19:58,178 Here goes. 449 00:20:01,503 --> 00:20:03,133 (EXHALES) 450 00:20:03,225 --> 00:20:05,505 Are you done? Because that was very moving. 451 00:20:07,309 --> 00:20:08,609 Would it make any difference to you 452 00:20:08,710 --> 00:20:12,330 if I gave up my own apartment? 453 00:20:12,434 --> 00:20:14,024 I don't know what good that would do, 454 00:20:14,116 --> 00:20:16,536 seeing that neither one of us would have a place to live then. 455 00:20:16,638 --> 00:20:19,518 Okay, 'cause I sublet my apartment this afternoon. 456 00:20:20,682 --> 00:20:21,782 Needless to say, I was hoping 457 00:20:21,883 --> 00:20:23,893 for a completely different answer. 458 00:20:24,886 --> 00:20:26,626 I just... 459 00:20:26,728 --> 00:20:30,728 figured that if... we're going to do this for real... 460 00:20:32,974 --> 00:20:34,984 ...we should have a fresh start. 461 00:20:36,898 --> 00:20:38,838 You sure about this, Mike? 462 00:20:38,940 --> 00:20:41,300 Maybe I didn't know what all this meant, 463 00:20:41,903 --> 00:20:43,913 but I do now. 464 00:20:44,626 --> 00:20:46,566 I really... 465 00:20:46,668 --> 00:20:48,668 really want us to live together. 466 00:20:49,911 --> 00:20:51,911 No nets? 467 00:20:52,394 --> 00:20:54,404 I live for danger. 468 00:20:54,956 --> 00:20:56,136 (DOOR OPENS) MAYOR: Michael? 469 00:20:56,238 --> 00:20:58,718 Hello. Walk out with me, would you, please? 470 00:21:01,202 --> 00:21:03,532 Oh, just one thing. 471 00:21:05,687 --> 00:21:07,687 Promise to tell me if we get married. 472 00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:13,363 Okay, sir, what can I do for you? Yeah. 473 00:21:13,455 --> 00:21:14,915 Anything I need to know? 474 00:21:15,016 --> 00:21:17,516 Uh, well, I've been back and forth with Sabatino all day. 475 00:21:17,619 --> 00:21:18,719 I mean, I don't think the guy realizes 476 00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,040 what we're offering. 477 00:21:20,141 --> 00:21:22,161 I'll give him another call. 478 00:21:22,263 --> 00:21:24,373 Mike, it's a strike. There's no quick fix here. 479 00:21:24,466 --> 00:21:26,046 Now, just let it rest. 480 00:21:26,147 --> 00:21:27,327 You know, the city's not going to fall apart 481 00:21:27,429 --> 00:21:29,449 because you take one night off. 482 00:21:29,551 --> 00:21:31,651 I mean, it probably will, 483 00:21:31,753 --> 00:21:33,763 but it will anyway. 484 00:21:34,996 --> 00:21:37,016 So, where are you off to? 485 00:21:37,118 --> 00:21:39,138 A fund-raiser. Um... 486 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,220 Oh, yeah, Jewish Community Center, 487 00:21:41,322 --> 00:21:43,322 Rego Park. 488 00:21:43,965 --> 00:21:46,145 Well, shalom, sir. 489 00:21:46,247 --> 00:21:47,747 L'chayim, Mike. 490 00:21:47,849 --> 00:21:50,009 (SINGS HASIDIC SONG) 491 00:21:56,537 --> 00:21:58,537 Good night, Mr. Flaherty. Good night, Skippy. 492 00:22:02,263 --> 00:22:03,773 ASHLEY: So, where should we live? 493 00:22:03,865 --> 00:22:05,605 Chelsea? SoHo? 494 00:22:05,707 --> 00:22:07,767 Tribeca? 495 00:22:07,869 --> 00:22:09,869 What's wrong with this place? 496 00:22:11,032 --> 00:22:12,252 It's furnished. 497 00:22:12,353 --> 00:22:14,543 Rent's cheap. 498 00:22:14,635 --> 00:22:16,755 Unbelievably short commute for me. 499 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,860 Okay... let me just warn you. 500 00:22:21,963 --> 00:22:23,973 (CLEARS THROAT) Everything we do here is on record. 501 00:22:24,886 --> 00:22:26,886 Let's go to a hotel. 502 00:22:27,969 --> 00:22:29,029 What are you doing? 503 00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:30,590 Just checking my voicemail. 504 00:22:30,691 --> 00:22:31,711 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 505 00:22:31,813 --> 00:22:33,823 Mike, look at your watch. 506 00:22:35,696 --> 00:22:37,696 Whoa, 11:05, what do you know? 507 00:22:38,860 --> 00:22:40,860 Workday's over. 508 00:22:41,903 --> 00:22:43,913 Honey. 509 00:22:48,389 --> 00:22:50,389 Fine, it worked for you. 510 00:22:51,312 --> 00:22:53,652 Yeah, well, it's working for you, too. 511 00:22:53,754 --> 00:22:55,764 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 512 00:22:56,277 --> 00:22:58,177 (OVER SPEAKER) Hey, Mike, this is Paul. Listen. 513 00:22:58,279 --> 00:22:59,739 I'm at Houlihan's. 514 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,880 Where the hell is everybody?